Let me start off by saying that, yesterday, I killed my first animal.
Rewind a bit, to a happier time. I was watching The Office, I’d written a blog post for today [You mean, you *didn’t* intend on writing *this*?!], the dogs had just gone out for the first time that day [around 10 am, the lazy bums] and I was just getting to unloading the dishwasher [something I’d been needing to do all week but had been neglecting to because of illness] when suddenly I noticed Mei Mei standing by the patio door sneezing something fierce. I opened the door, letting her in, and she ran in, tail-nubbin tucked. Then I noticed the smell, and that Mei Mei had yellow streaks down her face and side, and that *she* was the source of the smell.
That’s right. She’d been sprayed by a skunk.
Thinking back, I remember seeing them sniff around the edge of the fence, and hearing them bark a couple times, but that’s not unusual. We live next to a field, so we gets lots of mice and other mouse-relatives, so I didn’t think anything of the sniffing. Also the neighbor’s cat likes to come visit to get said mice, and they like to bark at the cat, so I didn’t think anything of the barking. Stupid, stupid me.
I put Mei Mei in the best place I could think of: the hall bathroom.
Okay, so this might not have been the *best* place, but I was in a rush because I’d also let Buddy Boy into the house and he was running free and I didn’t know how smelly he might be and Mei Mei had been sprayed by a skunk. Then I had to get the dirty towels from the last time Sister and family visited away from Mei Mei because she was trying to roll in them and then I had to get the rug out too because she wanted to roll in *that* AND I still had to get Buddy Boy because who knows how stinky he is???
I got Buddy Boy. He wasn’t really all that stinky, but I put him in the bathroom anyway.
I called Dad, amidst my gagging [the smell was worse than what I remembered from the time when I was 8 and our dog at the time got sprayed] and managed to say “Mei Mei got sprayed.” Then I looked outside. “And the skunk’s still in the fence.”
So I did. I shot it right in the head. I think. It died instantly, I know that much. It smelled too much to check. I tried, really, truly I did try. But I had just moved it with a shovel from out of the fence to an area near the edge of our property and I’d managed to not throw up so far and I didn’t feel like pushing my luck any farther. Further. I’ve had this discussion before [check it out here]. And I also had to bathe two dogs.
And that’s how I killed my first animal. It was a very impressive-sized skunk. It had to be at most half the size of Mei Mei [and she’s 9 lbs. soaking wet]. I also noticed that the skunk looked like Mei Mei had managed to get her mouth around its neck. The only thing that kept that skunk from dying was that it sprayed my girl. Oh well, I got that kill.
After bathing two dogs [one of them twice, guess which one?], I put them outside in their kennels, took a shower and put my smelly clothes on the back lawn, and as I write this I’m listening to my terriers howl and bark their displeasure.
If you happen to visit, and you need to use the restroom, I apologize for the smell in the bathroom. I’m sorry, Sister. Hopefully we find some Ozium soon…
This is Mei Mei the Stink:
Editor’s Note [Yeah, right. An editor. That’s just a fancy name for “Me”.]: Mei Mei got bathed some more, Buddy Boy is stink free and running around free, and Mei Mei is still in a kennel, but she’s not *as* stinky [relative term], so she gets to be in the bathroom and with an old towel in which to curl up. [I tried to not have that sentence end with a preposition, and I failed.]