Misunderstanding

As a child, I took things very literally.

When I was three, I was trying to figure out the whole “Christmas” thing, so I asked Mom,

[And yes, I really did talk like this at the age of three…]

Mom, wanting Christmas to be a terrifying and horrible wonderful and magical season for Sister and me, said, “Nobody knows!” in a mysterious, magical manner. Instantly, my brain went into hyper-drive. See, we’d just gone over some important lessons:

Now compare this with Santa and Christmas.

I freaked out on Mom, so much so that she finally admitted that Santa wasn’t real and that she and Dad ate the milk and cookies and put the presents under the tree. So much for her idea of a wonderful and magical season.

Fast forward three or so years, to when we went to Arkansas to visit Mom’s parents for some holiday. [There is much debate in my family over when this trip occurred. It was either around Thanksgiving {the way I remember it}, or it was around Easter {the way Mom remembers it}. Don’t listen to Mom. I’m right.] This was my first time out of the state of Michigan, and we were FLYING in an airplane to get there. Obviously, this was my first time in an airplane.

Mom covered some important rules, in addition to the whole stranger list [which still applied]. The only one I remember is:

DON’T, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, GIVE YOUR SUITCASE TO ANYONE.

The first thing that happened in the Detroit airport is:


I started berating Mom right then and there, telling her how we weren’t supposed to give our suitcases to ANYONE what was she doing?!?

I later [as in right then] found out that the man was an airport employee who was just trying to get us across the airport so we wouldn’t be late for our plane departure.

Now I know that, when I eventually have kids [who are doomed to be just like me] and they ask who Santa is, I’ll tell them that he and I are good friends, and that when we go to an airport, I’ll explain that if someone asks them for their suitcase, don’t give it to them unless I, or their dad, say it’s okay.

I’ve got a bit of things on my plate at the moment, some work that needs to be done for a friend’s wedding, and then Christmas, and traveling, etc, so this post will have to tide you over until the new year! [That means no post on Saturday. Sorry :(. I really want to move on with the story, but I really need to get this other stuff done.] So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and/or any other holiday you may or may not celebrate!

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